Zachary Cole Smith is the lead singer of the Brooklyn based DIIV. In 2019 they unveiled a song, “Skin Game,” the first single from their album Deceiver.
In a statement, Smith described the song as “an imaginary dialogue between two characters, which could either be myself or people I know.” Smith added that the song was inspired by his recent stints in rehab facilities and the experience of coming to grips with addiction and recovery.
“I spent six months in several different rehab facilities at the beginning of 2017,” Smith said. “I was living with other addicts. Being a recovering addict myself, there are a lot of questions like, ‘Who are we? What is this disease?’ Our last record was about recovery in general, but I truthfully didn’t buy in. I decided to live in my disease instead. ‘Skin Game’ looks at where the pain comes from. I’m looking at the personal, physical, emotional, and broader political experiences feeding into the cycle of addiction for millions of us.”
“I decided to live in my disease instead.“
In 2013 Smith was arrested in upstate New York for possession of heroin. This became a defining moment for him and his band. The despair and regret can be heard following this incident on their 2016 album Is the Is Are. With lyrics like, “I know I gotta kick but I can’t get sick” and, “I was high but now I feel low/My own private I dunno” you can hear Smith not fully committing to sobriety. He chose to live inside his disease as mentioned before. This is a very precarious position to be in as an addict. It’s equivalent to throwing in the towel.
Every addict has had the following thought cross their mind. “I was destined to be an addict. I might as well live up to it.” This is living in the disease. Letting the disease win. Not making positive decisions to pull yourself out of the hole you dug. The disease of addiction is progressive. Which means even if you decide to sit and do nothing it will continue to deteriorate your mental health. You must make positive decisions for yourself daily or addiction will use that opportunity to trick you into using again. Choose to live in sobriety, not the disease.